No, Daddy, No

The Super Bowl has become more of an advertising expo than a football game for a sizable portion of the American public, and every year the top advertising firms try to put together a creative list of ads for the top companies. It's a hard task to make millions laugh with only a thirty second spot, but more times than not the creative departments pull through and make a few memorable ads. But the important thing to note is that they try new things every year. They do not recycle the same style of advertising over and over again. This brings us to Go Daddy.

Go Daddy has long been using what is known as shock advertising, overtly sexual ads meant to cut through the clutter because they're controversial. The only problem is that Go Daddy advertisements, while trying to be risque...are not at all. They're tame and tiresome. I respect that Danica Patrick is the only female race-car driver, but the fact that she is marginally attractive as well does not make her a sex symbol.

So to pair her with other decent looking females in a suggestive setting, and imply that the unrated continuation of the advertisement on the internet is even more racy...is not effective for two reasons.

1. The internet has no shortage of places to look for celebrity nipple slips and pornography. Viewers do not need to go to Go Daddy.com to see anything remotely sexual...it's everywhere! As a register of domain names, they should know that better than anyone.

2. You are basically using the biggest stage in the world to advertise another advertisement. They are not selling their product, they are trying to get people on their website to view the more steamy version of the advertisement. I realize they hope the increased traffic will result in some sales from people who after viewing the "shocking scene" take a look at their services, but chances are, the only people who have any interest in seeing this unrated commercial are twelve year old boys who don't even know what a domain name is. Not to mention the fact that you are asking the American public to get off of their couches and go over to the computer to seek out something they will be disappointed by.

Go Daddy really needs to try something new...it was fun the first year, but you can't keep doing the same thing over and over again. It cheapens the advertisement, especially when aired on the one day that people are actually paying attention to them.

-- Steve Creswick
Ad Doctor

Who planned this?

Funny how when CBS has the Super Bowl, the halftime show is performed by the band whose songs are used as the theme songs for the network's most popular franchise, CSI. Talk about making the most of your programming.




-- Steve Creswick
Ad Doctor

Can a Writer Be a Celebrity?

The beginning of every form of entertainment is written. Whether it be the cheesy dialogue of an old action flick or a literary masterpiece that puts the entire human condition into perspective. Even your favorite reality show or Hollywood gossip host has an entire team of scribes feeding them lines.

Why then, if these are the brainchilds of every popular production, do they get none of the recognition? Why do they only get a few hundred-thousand for creating the backbone of an entire film, when the recognizable faces who mouth their written words get millions?

Perhaps, we can delve into an old adage for inspiration. A mainstream mantra I've heard more times than I would have liked during my ongoing job search is, "It's not what you know...it's who you know." Well, in this case, "It's not what is said...it's who is saying it."

The sad truth is, we live in a visual culture, where seeing is believing. In order for someone to become famous, they need to be visible. They need to be on television talk-shows and internet video. They need to have a plague of paparazzi swarming them at every second of their life. People need to be able to put a face to name. Because with so many voices vying for attention, a human being needs some way of deciding which ones are important enough to lend their ear to. And if someone is a celebrity in our sycophantic world, they're worth hearing.

With the internet and web 2.0 technologies, everyone has a voice and the opportunity to carve out a nice little fan base, but if someone who makes a living as a writer ever wants to achieve celebrity status they will need more than their words. If not, they will continue to toil in obscurity until their work is read by a more worthy media figure.

It is possible for people with a background as a writer to break through the mold and wrestle their way to stardom. Look at Conan O'brien. He began his career penning skits and episodes for SNL and the Simpsons, but once they put his fiery red mane in front of the camera...he became an icon. So there is hope for writers to become recognized by the masses for their talents, but the only problem is that they'll first have to develop an image and a whole new array of talents before they can get the attention they deserve.

Any thoughts on why writers rarely achieve celebrity status?

-- Steve Creswick
Ad Doctor

Credentials of Being a Photographer

It seems like if you want to be a photographer or cameraman, you need not waste all your precious time and money going to college. You do not need a keen eye or an expert knowledge of lighting. In fact, you don't need anything. It's more about what you need not have...emotion, shame, and courtesy to name a few. In our culture, being a photographer is all about being able to angle a lens to catch a glimpse up a starlet's skirt when she's getting out of a car, or having the resolve to keep a camera plastered two inches from some distraught person's face while they wrestle with their tears on a reality tv-show.

-- Steve Creswick
Ad Doctor

Who wants to read an E-Book?

Over the weekend, Amazon and MacMillan book publishing got into a little scuffle over how to price their e-books. Amazon wants all e-books to be priced at $9.99 to entice people to buy a Kindle and read using their technology. When the Kindle first came out I remember an army of nay-sayers claiming people would never pay for both the expensive gadget as well as the 10 dollars for each book, but that is in the past and the venture has been successful enough.

Still, Amazon refuses to price e-books at anything other than $9.99, which has angered publishing companies. The bookseller take a loss by pricing them so low, but they make up for that loss by selling Kindles. The publishing companies believe that pricing e-books this low can last forever, and will even take a less percentage of profit to have their products priced higher. Apple will allow publishers to price their own books for the iPad, and they want the same from Amazon as well.

But the real question is not about Amazon or MacMillan or Apple. It is, why would the consumer want to pay close to the price of a regular book for an e-book? They're not thinking about the author who put so much time and effort into the tale they're reading. The reader is thinking about what they get for their money.

They do not get a tangible product they can lend to their friends. They get words on a screen, which can be found just about anywhere one looks on the internet. So, if you want to price e-books higher, there should be an incentive to purchase them over a hardcover or paperback copy, shouldn't there?

Well how about we borrow some marketing practices from other mediums.

1. Downloadable Content: It is popular for videogames in the digital age to offer free downloadable content with pre-orders of all the big releases, whether it be extra missions, or unique equipment. Maybe include a short story download, an extra chapter(not essential to the story of course), or access to those in the future.

2. Embedded Soundtrack: Set the mood with fitting music to accompany whatever chapter or page the reader is on.

3. Commentary: DVDs have optional commentary, so maybe e-books should have optional notes written by the author to clarify certain things, and expand on certain reasons for taking the path he/she did when writing the narrative.

1. Allow readers to upload their own notes and commentary, like when you buy a used book for class and most of the important stuff is already highlighted.
2. Access to commentary and opinions of reviewers, or academic essays in the case of certain books

4. Include concept art: We live in a visual culture. Some video games and movies offer concept art with their Collector's Edition packaging, so why not have an artist rendition of major scenes or characters included?

-- Steve Creswick
Ad Doctor

Academy Award Nominations

The Academy Awards nominees were released today, and my prediction is one step closer to becoming true. I've only seen three of the ten nominated movies (Inglourious Basterds, Up, and District 9) and none of those three were worthy of being Best Picture. Inglourious Basterds was pretty good, and Quentin did an excellent job of building tension and suspense, but it wasn't anything ground-breaking. Up was heart-touching and original, but I can't see an animated film winning a Best Picture award any time soon. And District 9 was interesting, but is probably a little too strange for the Academy to consider. Unfortunately, the unknown actor who single-handedly carried that film and improvised most of his lines wasn't given a nomination for his excellent performance.

For some reason it feels like this year they're making up for quality with quantity.

-- Steve Creswick
Ad Doctor

What I Learned from the Grammys...

Life imitates art...it's a well known mantra...the yin to "Art imitates Life's" yang. Either way you shake it though, according to the Grammy's, our country's pulse is to be measured by a teenage girl whining about trying to steal someone else's boyfriend. And you know what? That sounds about right. We live in a high school, not a nation. We live in a country where people care more about gossip and lies than politics and world policy. Where even elected officials lower themselves to making insults rather than offering constructive criticism or logical arguments. Where music, or anything for that matter, is not about a substantial product, but about a quick sale. Where everyone has this innate sense of entitlement bred by their being able to broadcast their every insignificant, uneducated thought to the world on Facebook and Twitter--I better be careful not to border on hypocrisy with that statement, although our nation is built on that too.

But, Steve, it's just an awards show...those are always wrong...they always honor what's popular (a.k.a. what record companies and radio stations force on the public) rather than what's good...

For the most part, but do the Academy Awards do that? Do they honor what's popular over what's good? No. Otherwise every year an Academy Award would be won by whatever CGI-infused, cliche-driven blockbuster happened to be the runaway summer hit that year. (Although, this year it probably will be a CGI-infused, cliche-driven blockbuster named Avatar.)

But anyway, enough with the futile fight against tastelessness. I could go on and on about the assassination of rock n' roll by talentless pop groups like Green Day, or about the lack of value or meaning in virtually every song nominated this year for the major televised awards, but I'd just be playing a broken record. And playing the same tired tune would just make me more like the modern music industry, wouldn't it?

So onto what I've learned...

1. If you want to get recognition in this country...you need to do two things: (a) make a song that's highly repetitive and only has lyrics so the listener has a break between hearing the hook too many times and (b) dress in absurd, childish outfits to get people to look at you. And when they insult you for your embarrassing attire, you can claim it's an artistic expression even though it's just a simple lack of shame and the knowledge that being different will get you noticed, which will get you more exposure. (If you couldn't tell I'm talking about Lady Gaga and the Black Eyed Peas, although I guess Jay-Z falls into the first part of that as well.)

2. Slash is no longer a guitarist...he's a cartoon character, an image, a brand, a top-hat with curly hair coming out that happens to be holding a Les Paul. I'll get to this in a later post, but it's pretty evident by his desecration of the sacred November Rain solo among the likes of a lip-syncing auto-tuned Jamie Foxx and T-Pain that he has lost all respect for himself and music.

3. Awards shows are just one big commercial for whatever station they happen to be on. Having nobodies from CBS sitcoms and dramas presenting awards does not gain exposure for your shows, CBS. It's a music awards show...do I need to see the guy from the Mentalist, or the chick from the Big Bang Theory, handing out trophies? No, because they have no music credentials, they're simply there for shameless self-promotion. Plug your shows on the commercial break. Nobody will tune into your shows because they saw one of your "stars" hand out the award for Best Comedy Album. Instead bring out interesting music figures people actually care about.

4. Here's a positive I'll sneak in here for you: Eminem is really good live, and rightfully won the award for Best Rap Album, although it wasn't shown on TV, probably because Jay-Z wasn't up for the Award. Then again, the Blueprint 3 really isn't a rap album, it's just a bunch of good beats with a once-talented rapper mouthing mediocrity over them. Eminem's performance with Lil Wayne and Drake was also excellent except for the censor's itchy trigger finger.

5. I already mentioned this, but it might as well be the fifth thing I learned, and continue to learn every year...who picks these awards? Pearl Jam put out one of the best rock albums in years, and they get nominated for one category (rock song or something like that) and lose to Kings of Leon? Come on... And how does Dave Matthews not win something for his excellent album? Oh, I know why...because both groups have talent instead of mindless teenage fans, and in the eyes of the music industry...talent always loses.

I've angered myself enough talking about the Grammy's for one day...

Oh, that Michael Jackson tribute was pretty good too



-- Steve Creswick
Ad Doctor