I'm Going to Disneyworld!

I was watching Sportscenter today and saw the annual post-Super Bowl Disney advertisement of the Super Bowl MVP saying "I'm going to Disney World!" or "I'm going to Disney Land!"

It got me thinking, how exactly in the chaos of the postgame with every player mobbed by a swarm of cameramen and reporters jabbing recording devices at their jaws do they manage to organize the player saying it? What if among the hundreds of people shouting at the player, the voice of the Disney producer gets lost? What if the player simply pushes through the go celebrate with his teammates where he should be? Or what if the person refuses to do it because they want to be compensated? Are they compensated? Does Disney have a deal with the NFL where their players are contractually obligated to do the commercial, and told to be ready for it should they win the Super Bowl? Or the only question I know the answer to...Does it matter? Nope, but I was just curious how it all comes together in such a hectic environment.

-- Steve Creswick
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Who planned this?

Funny how when CBS has the Super Bowl, the halftime show is performed by the band whose songs are used as the theme songs for the network's most popular franchise, CSI. Talk about making the most of your programming.




-- Steve Creswick
Ad Doctor

Credentials of Being a Photographer

It seems like if you want to be a photographer or cameraman, you need not waste all your precious time and money going to college. You do not need a keen eye or an expert knowledge of lighting. In fact, you don't need anything. It's more about what you need not have...emotion, shame, and courtesy to name a few. In our culture, being a photographer is all about being able to angle a lens to catch a glimpse up a starlet's skirt when she's getting out of a car, or having the resolve to keep a camera plastered two inches from some distraught person's face while they wrestle with their tears on a reality tv-show.

-- Steve Creswick
Ad Doctor

Academy Award Nominations

The Academy Awards nominees were released today, and my prediction is one step closer to becoming true. I've only seen three of the ten nominated movies (Inglourious Basterds, Up, and District 9) and none of those three were worthy of being Best Picture. Inglourious Basterds was pretty good, and Quentin did an excellent job of building tension and suspense, but it wasn't anything ground-breaking. Up was heart-touching and original, but I can't see an animated film winning a Best Picture award any time soon. And District 9 was interesting, but is probably a little too strange for the Academy to consider. Unfortunately, the unknown actor who single-handedly carried that film and improvised most of his lines wasn't given a nomination for his excellent performance.

For some reason it feels like this year they're making up for quality with quantity.

-- Steve Creswick
Ad Doctor

What I Learned from the Grammys...

Life imitates art...it's a well known mantra...the yin to "Art imitates Life's" yang. Either way you shake it though, according to the Grammy's, our country's pulse is to be measured by a teenage girl whining about trying to steal someone else's boyfriend. And you know what? That sounds about right. We live in a high school, not a nation. We live in a country where people care more about gossip and lies than politics and world policy. Where even elected officials lower themselves to making insults rather than offering constructive criticism or logical arguments. Where music, or anything for that matter, is not about a substantial product, but about a quick sale. Where everyone has this innate sense of entitlement bred by their being able to broadcast their every insignificant, uneducated thought to the world on Facebook and Twitter--I better be careful not to border on hypocrisy with that statement, although our nation is built on that too.

But, Steve, it's just an awards show...those are always wrong...they always honor what's popular (a.k.a. what record companies and radio stations force on the public) rather than what's good...

For the most part, but do the Academy Awards do that? Do they honor what's popular over what's good? No. Otherwise every year an Academy Award would be won by whatever CGI-infused, cliche-driven blockbuster happened to be the runaway summer hit that year. (Although, this year it probably will be a CGI-infused, cliche-driven blockbuster named Avatar.)

But anyway, enough with the futile fight against tastelessness. I could go on and on about the assassination of rock n' roll by talentless pop groups like Green Day, or about the lack of value or meaning in virtually every song nominated this year for the major televised awards, but I'd just be playing a broken record. And playing the same tired tune would just make me more like the modern music industry, wouldn't it?

So onto what I've learned...

1. If you want to get recognition in this country...you need to do two things: (a) make a song that's highly repetitive and only has lyrics so the listener has a break between hearing the hook too many times and (b) dress in absurd, childish outfits to get people to look at you. And when they insult you for your embarrassing attire, you can claim it's an artistic expression even though it's just a simple lack of shame and the knowledge that being different will get you noticed, which will get you more exposure. (If you couldn't tell I'm talking about Lady Gaga and the Black Eyed Peas, although I guess Jay-Z falls into the first part of that as well.)

2. Slash is no longer a guitarist...he's a cartoon character, an image, a brand, a top-hat with curly hair coming out that happens to be holding a Les Paul. I'll get to this in a later post, but it's pretty evident by his desecration of the sacred November Rain solo among the likes of a lip-syncing auto-tuned Jamie Foxx and T-Pain that he has lost all respect for himself and music.

3. Awards shows are just one big commercial for whatever station they happen to be on. Having nobodies from CBS sitcoms and dramas presenting awards does not gain exposure for your shows, CBS. It's a music awards show...do I need to see the guy from the Mentalist, or the chick from the Big Bang Theory, handing out trophies? No, because they have no music credentials, they're simply there for shameless self-promotion. Plug your shows on the commercial break. Nobody will tune into your shows because they saw one of your "stars" hand out the award for Best Comedy Album. Instead bring out interesting music figures people actually care about.

4. Here's a positive I'll sneak in here for you: Eminem is really good live, and rightfully won the award for Best Rap Album, although it wasn't shown on TV, probably because Jay-Z wasn't up for the Award. Then again, the Blueprint 3 really isn't a rap album, it's just a bunch of good beats with a once-talented rapper mouthing mediocrity over them. Eminem's performance with Lil Wayne and Drake was also excellent except for the censor's itchy trigger finger.

5. I already mentioned this, but it might as well be the fifth thing I learned, and continue to learn every year...who picks these awards? Pearl Jam put out one of the best rock albums in years, and they get nominated for one category (rock song or something like that) and lose to Kings of Leon? Come on... And how does Dave Matthews not win something for his excellent album? Oh, I know why...because both groups have talent instead of mindless teenage fans, and in the eyes of the music industry...talent always loses.

I've angered myself enough talking about the Grammy's for one day...

Oh, that Michael Jackson tribute was pretty good too



-- Steve Creswick
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